I get why the biggest names in literature were alcoholics. I mean, I think the majority of people know why - but I feel it. Nearly every time I have come to write something on this blog, I've had a drink or two. Tonight, it was a few glasses of wine and a Twisted Tea. I haven't had a drink in a few weeks though, so it's hitting a little harder than it normally would.
I reread all the blog posts. It's so clear to me now how unhappy I was, arguably still am. Reading all those posts, I can't tell if me forgetting so much of these memories is a good thing or a bad thing. Did I heal or did I not? I think I just blocked it all out. It probably isn't the best idea to reread it all, especially the C things. It's been so long, you think it would be okay by now. Everything I said though remains true though. I forgot so much of what he did. He used to hit me so much. I thought my other relationships had healed that, but I hadn't realized how much of a wall I have built around myself since then. I don't want this anymore. I'm tired. I don't like being distrusting, because I don't have the heart for it. Does this make sense?
Chat, am I ever going to figure this life out?
No comments:
Post a Comment